All the Candy Opinions


I have a lot of opinions about candy. Strong opinions. This probably isn't that surprising since there is an entire category on this blog dedicated to my reverence for The Peep. Today, I planned to write about candy canes and I was looking for images of candy canes to accompany the post and then found that Spangler, a brand of candy canes, also makes circus peanuts and it completely derailed my train of thought.

Circus peanuts are the worst candy ever. I think about circus peanuts often because I wonder who eats them.

This prompted the following conversation with my lovely friend, Anthony, who spent 21 minutes with me chatting about candies from our youth.

I'm sharing it here with permission:

Vikki: Spangler candy canes make circus peanuts! I have a vendetta against circus peanuts so this is shocking news.

Anthony: Circus peanuts are horrendous. Bleah! I hated those little fuckers even when I was a kid. Awful!

Vikki: Who still eats them??

Anthony: I have no idea. I haven't seen them in a long time so I assumed they were extinct. I guess not.

Vikki: Nope. They are still around. I thought when my grandma died, circus peanuts would too.

Anthony: "10 Candies That Should Go Extinct: Sweets That Suck My Ass"

Vikki: I have STRONG opinions on this topic. Boston peanuts, circus peanuts, classic xmas ribbon candies...

Anthony: Lavender flavored apple gum....watermelon gum...Nekko wafers...

Vikki: I am SO angry that Skittles replaced the lime Skittle with green apple. SO WRONG. But Nekko wafers make great roofing tiles or stepping stones for gingerbread houses.

Anthony: Yes, but they are evil and awful tasting.

Vikki: Yes. And what is that weird powdery substance on them? Anthrax?

Anthony: HAHAHAHA.....yes, i believe so. Anthrax laced Nekko wafers. Beware, and save the children.

Vikki: About a year ago, I bought that retro gold rush gum that comes in little yellow nuggets in a burlap bag. Remember that? I was trying to revisit my youth and, turns out, I had really shitty taste in gum in my youth.

Anthony: I used to chew spearmint Bubble Yum with wild abandon. I think i used to have a wad of 2-3 pieces in my mouth all the time. And what's the gum that used to shoot the goo in your mouth?

Vikki:I had a thing for watermelon Bubble Yum and would chew two at a time and my mother hated it SO MUCH. The smell used to get to her.

Anthony: I'm with Mama Juan on that one. Watermelon gum smells like puke.

Vikki: OH! What about those awful wax bottles full of juice. Those were terrible.

Anthony: Hahaha...yes....those were bad news. Pop Rocks with a Coke chaser. I felt like my head would explode, and I think that I probably developed Type 2 Diabetes on the spot.

Vikki: You know what candies I feel were misunderstood? Razzles and Bottle Caps.

Anthony: Bottle Caps made me sick. I don't know why, but I didn't like them. Don't remember Razzles.

Vikki: Razzles were like Bottle Caps but fruit flavored and they turned to gum! They were like the Transformers of candy!

Anthony: Oh, what were those candies with the candy stick that you dipped in the powder? Lik Em Stix or something like that?

Vikki: Fun Dip! They still have Fun Dip and my kids get it at the skating rink with their 3764 skeeball tickets that cost me $45. Fun Dip stands the test of time.

Anthony: Fun Dip. Yes. Awful, but I remember loving that as a kid. The worst were those huge lollipops that were multicolored. They were enormous. About the size of my face. I always wanted one when we went to a carnival, and then I would lick it, lick it, lick it....with no progress. I think my parents eventually forbade me to have more when I put the lollipop on the table and it got stuck there.

Vikki: We never let our kids have those but then, once, Aunt Patti got them for the kids and they LOVED them but also realized that they are a lot of work.

Anthony: Ohhhh yes. Now I remember Razzles.

They are a shit ton of work! You can never finish one.

Vikki: Now I want Razzles. Though, I fear it would be like the Gold Rush gum. You really can't go home again.

Anthony: I loved those little butterscotch disks from Brach's. Yummy.

Vikki: THOSE were (and are) gross! That's old lady candy, Anthony! My grandma had those in a bowl near her circus peanuts.

Anthony: *gasp* Bite your tongue. The butterscotch disks were yummy. Buttery and smooth. Like your ass.

Vikki: No. They are terrible candies. However, I will take the ass comments as compliments.

Anthony: Did you ever get a Life Savers book for Christmas? I would have killed for one of those.

Vikki: I got one every year and hated it! You know why? BUTTERSCOTCH LIFESAVERS.

Anthony: You are a misanthrope.

Do you have strong candy feelings?

Photo Credit: Walt Stoneburner via photopin cc

*Note: I chose this picture because it is of Runts candy and I once got a lime runt stuck in my nose during a high school English class. High school.