There are patterns everywhere. They exist in relationships when the same arguments repeat, when differences emerge time and again, when we react to something in the way we have in the past even though we vowed to behave differently.
We have our individual patterns as well. We take the same routes to our favorite places. We wear a favorite shirt or pair of shoes when we need an extra boost, an extra spark of positive energy. We take our coffee or tea a certain way, maybe even in the same mug day after day.
Patterns and routines can provide certainty when there isn't any, comfort when we need it.
This past week, I was overwhelmed and tired and anxious. My worries became more serious, my fears greater, my burden bigger.
And I behaved in a way that is familiar. I found a song that resonated with my emotional state and I listened to it on repeat.
There are patterns that serve us and there are some that do not. This is one of mine that reinforces my angst but I also wonder if it helps in some way, if I need to just dwell for a bit and that doing so, for me, requires a perfect soundtrack because I do eventually break free and then set that song aside for awhile, as if it has done its work. Each time, however, I wonder why I do this. When the sky is gray and cloudy and my mind matches, why do I add the equivalent in music.
My only explanation is the pattern and, maybe, a lack of common sense.
The following was my song for the week but I have no idea what is happening in this video.