Since January of 2012, Luisa and I have been dealing with a very serious issue in our relationship. No, it is not the fact that she slurps her coffee when she's distracted with the iPad in the morning.
No, it's not that I continue to leave a secret pile of dirty clothes on my side of the bed.
We've been dealing with the fact that we are a in a longterm, bi-tech relationship.
Prior to that fateful day in 2012, Luisa and I both had Blackberry phones. She had one through her job and I had two - one through my job and a personal one so that I could goof off without my activity being tracked.
We exchanged bon mots* via Blackberry messenger and we spoke the same phone language. We would skip through meadows of wildflowers, our Blackberrys held towards the sky and, with a knowing smile, we'd say, "Is your track ball sticking too?"**
It was a time of great harmony but limited capability.
After I switched to the iPhone, my life changed dramatically. I had quick and easy access to the internet! I could Instagram! I could watch videos more reliably! I could listen to Nicki Minaj!
I held the world in my hand.
I was drunk with gadget power though it was sobering that I had left Luisa behind and our text messages were a constant reminder. Our exchanges were forever tainted by the lime green bubbles of text messages instead of iMessages.***
Of course, there were other problems too. Our calendars could not synch. She constantly asked to use my phone for directions and to access iPhone-only apps for our kids' soccer teams and I did not like sharing. She couldn't look at my Instagram pictures and help monitor our son's Instagram account. And, I shudder when I say this, she could not play Candy Crush on her phone.
We were straddling a cultural divide.
I knew she was jealous of the endless virtual opportunities I held in my hand. I could tell by the way she'd look at me that she too wanted to experience the touch-screen life, swiping her way through app after app. She eventually got a fancy new Blackberry with a touch screen but it still wasn't the same.
We were struggling under the unique challenges of our bi-tech relationship but the technology gods heard our prayers and, last week, Luisa received word that she would be receiving a new phone - an iPhone 5c!
Her new phone arrived yesterday and we are at peace. We can speak a common language once again and the world is now as it should be . How do I know? The blue bubbles of iMessage tell me so.****
When asked what I was most looking forward to now that Luisa has an iPhone, I said "It will be easier for her to share her work calendar with me!" But what I really love most are those blue bubbles. The blue bubbles are so pretty.
*Our mots are rarely bon as evidenced by the screencaps of our text conversations.
**I have never seen Luisa skip...through a meadow or otherwise.
***Luisa was the only green bubbler in my text list and it bugged me. Also, the green is so jarring!
****Yes, we really are the world's most boring texters.