Kids Are Funny - Part 5


I am leaving tomorrow for the SalonLGBTQ conference and should probably be ironing right now in preparation. Instead, I'm ignoring everything I need to do so that I can revel in some more of my kids' twitter witticisms...twittercisms? These quotes were all taken from 2012 so Zeca was 7 and Miguel was 11.

Can anyone guess my favorite?

Me: "You won't get Christmas presents!" Miguel: "I feel sorry for you-you won't get to see your child smile and I know how much you love that." (2012)

Miguel: "Be relieved of your tears and let me take your burden!" re: his desire to chop onions for me. (2012)

Zeca to Miguel: "I bet if you grew gills on the side of your face and opened them Girl X wouldn't have a crush on you anymore." (2012)

Miguel: "Why does Momo always sleep on you and not me?" Me: "Don't know."  Miguel: "I guess she must be gay." (2012)

Miguel: "You're going to an all queer camp?" Me:"Yeah." Miguel: "Will the cabins have names like Gay Raccoon?" (2012)

Looked down at the lake & M was naked. L (yelled from deck): "Miguel! Why are you naked?" M: "'s a long story..." (2012)

Zeca: "He's like a calculator!" Miguel: "Yeah but he's a calculator for MATH, not crime. I'm a calculator for crime." (2012)

Miguel: "I'm hungry. Me: "I'm Vikki." (followed by my hysterical laughter) Miguel: "And now? I'm creeped out." (2012)

Luisa and I were dancing to We Found Love and Miguel said, "Well, you sure know sexy lesbian dancing!" (2012)

Miguel trying to convince me to make crepes after this sleepover: "My friends might like you now but you can't count on that forever." (2012)

Zeca: "Are you wearing a bra?" Me: "No." Zeca: "I didn't think so. Shouldn't your boob be up here?" (2012)

Zeca: "I am watching a new TV show. It's a little dumb but not racist or sexist." (2012)

Zeca: "Is rainbow a compound word?" Me: "Yep. It’s squished together." Zeca: "Yeah! Just like zom-bie!" (2012)

Me: "You know who makes Mike & Ikes?" Zeca: "No." Me: "The same people who make peeps!" Zeca: "You?!" (2012)

Me: "I'm not perfect." Zeca: "Nothing is perfect but my perfect love for you." (2012)

"Coffee makes me sweaty on the head." ~ Zeca (2012)

"Do you feel my pain about wearing pink snow pants? Do you feel it mom?" – Zeca (2012)

"...and that's why it is torture for me to wear pink snow pants." - Zeca the Oppressed (2012)

"Guess who we want to run this city? Me!" - Zeca, future overlord (2012)

 Also, everyone can rest easy - the pink snow pants are gone. Whew.