They Paved Paradise

Luisa usually does the grocery shopping. There are reasons for this - of course. Luisa doesn't mind doing it but I do. She looks at it as an opportunity to be alone. I see it as being forced to mingle with annoying people who are often hygiene-impaired.

Luisa buys only what's on the list but I tend to be an impulsive shopper and would buy a chocolate covered tire if it struck my fancy in the moment.

Luisa looks at prices and I can't even tell you the going rate for a gallon of milk...even though I just bought one yesterday.

Luisa makes sure that she gets everything on the list but I will come home without an item rather than ask someone at the store where it might be and then will lie to Luisa and tell her the store was out of it (Luisa - I would never do that. Ever. That time I said they were out of ground turkey? They could have been. Big kiss to you.)

But Luisa is in Zambia which means that I had to go grocery shopping this past weekend.

Zeca went ice skating with friends and I dropped Miguel off for soccer. I had an hour and a half to do the shopping before I had to pick up Miguel.

I headed to the coop and the parking lot was full and all of the street parking was taken as well. I needed groceries so I was prepared to drive around the parking lot until a space opened up. There were a few other cars circling as well. We had all been driving around and around for 10 minutes when another car entered the game. This is where is gets complicated so I prepared the following diagram to help illustrate what happened next.

Car I (Innocent Woman) and Car V (my car) had been circling when Car J (the entitled JERK driving the shiny new black BMW) entered from the North Entrance and got in line. A parking space then opened up right next to Car I and - because she had been driving around for some time - the spot rightfully belonged to her. However, Car J who was in front of the space that opened started honking and motioning for Car I to move back. First of all, it was ridiculous to think that any of us could back up because we all had cars behind us. Secondly, HE HAD NO RIGHT TO THAT PARKING PLACE! He backed up enough that Car I could not pull into the space and then continued with the honking and the motioning.

I was furious. I will admit that, when I saw him pull in, I made some assumptions about his character but he then proceeded to show himself to be exactly the type of person I imagined him to be - entitled. I rolled down my window and spoke to the coop employee who was standing by the cart corral thingamabob. I said, "This is ridiculous." He said, "What would you like me to do?" I said, "I would like you to go up to the guy in the BMW and tell him to move on so that the woman in front of me can pull into that parking space." Much to my surprise, he said that he would.

He went up to the BMW and motioned for the guy to roll down his window. I could not hear the conversation but I saw the driver of Car J shake his head "no" and he then resumed his honking and motioning. Car I backed up a few inches and Car J did an elaborate 7 point turn and parked in the parking place.. Car I moved forward and I moved into her previous position which was then behind Car J which was parked. I put my car in neutral, pulled my emergency brake and waited for him to get out of his car. When he finally did, I spoke.

Me: You had no right to that parking space.

Jerk: Peace lady.

Me: You drove in here and expected that spot when the woman in front of me had been waiting for 10 minutes.

Jerk: I had been waiting.

Me: No you hadn't! I watched you drive in here in your shiny new BMW acting like you're entitled to whatever you want!

Jerk: Shove it up your ass lady!

Me: You shove it up yours!

Road rage has nothing on parking lot rage! There were still no parking places and the parking lot was now full of circlers. I had already spent 20 minutes on this parking lot fiasco and still had no groceries.

So, I left.

I am a mild-mannered person. I'm not confrontational and I had NEVER gotten into an argument with a stranger before that fateful day. Now, we can add the following to reasons Luisa does the grocery shopping:

Luisa doesn't rumble in the coop parking lot. Vikki does.