Feet of Daring

I get lots of  e-mail from readers saying, "Vikki, I love your writing and you are so very pretty. I would love to read more stories about your feet!" Okay...I don't really get "lots" of e-mails and no one says I'm pretty and no one ever asks for stories about my feet. But, I want to be proactive! So, let's talk about my feet!

I have never liked going barefoot. Ever. So, I avoid it whenever possible. When people talk about the feel of the grass on their feet, I roll my eyes because 1) grass is itchy and 2) I don't want to be the unlucky winner in the dog poop lottery. I don't like sandals either. I wear shoes and socks because they make my feet feel cozy and safe and secure.

But something weird happened while we were in Portugal. We spent a week in Melides and went to the beach every day. I do wear flip flops to the beach - I have no choice. Have you ever tried to put socks on wet and sandy feet? I have and even I don't feel enough sock lovin' to go through that ordeal. So, I wore flip flops and I got used to just slipping them on day in and day out. Then, we went back to Lisbon and I continued to wear them out of this newly formed habit. Then, at some point, I started enjoying the flip flops. They were light! My feet felt free! My feet were cool! My feet got tan! I wore flip flops exclusively for the rest of the trip. When it was time to fly back to the states, I put on my shoes and socks and my feet felt stifled. They had tasted freedom and were no longer content to dwell within the confines of cotton, canvas and leather. Once home, my feet were reunited with their beloved flip flops and were free once again. Sometimes, late at night when the covers were thrown off and my feet were caressed by the summer breeze coming through the windows, I swear that I could hear them murmur "thank you".

Last Sunday, Luisa and I bought Zeca a new bed and had to take apart her old bed from Ikea. I have put together and taken apart many pieces of Ikea furniture but this one was a huge pain in the ass and was comprised of approximately 3,497 pieces. Luisa made a quick sale and a guy came to pick it up on Monday. I suggested that I carry out all of the pieces and he could then load them neatly into his car. I'm so chivalrous. So, I began carrying out the 3,497 pieces of bed and two boards slipped from my hand and fell on the top of my foot - my free and easy, hippy, flip flop wearing foot - and left a big gash. I finished carrying all the stuff out and sent the guy on his way and then cleaned my bloody toe. I went to put my flip flops back on but I couldn't wear them because they rubbed the gash. So, I've been wearing shoes and socks since then.

Today, my toe hurt so much that I was actually limping. I just examined it and it's infected. See? THIS IS WHY PEOPLE SHOULD WEAR SHOES AND SOCKS! Feet need protection and mine are going to get it! I will now be immune to their pleas and the echos of murmured gratitude. Socks and shoes. Socks. And. Shoes.


*I have nothing important to say here but felt this post deserved a footnote.