Yesterday, I took the kids to their day camp at The Bell Museum. We had been singing Safety Dance in the car and I continued to sing the song quietly to myself as we walked into the building. Miguel squeezed my hand and said, "Stop mom. You're embarrassing me." I looked at him, gave him a wink and said, "Oh, okay. I get it." I then walked a bit ahead, turned back and said, "You want me to keep the singing on the down low?" He gritted his teeth and nodded. Gotcha. I signed both kids in and then Miguel and I walked Zeca to her classroom in the basement. After that, we headed to his classroom on the third floor of the building and I said, "I feel like dancing." He looked at me with his most serious look and said, "Mom. I mean it. Don't." I looked around and no one was looking so I started doing a little SSSS AAAA FFFF EEEE TTTT YYYY SAFETY DANCE! He grabbed me by the hand and growled, "Mom. Please." I stopped dancing, laughed and gave him a big hug.
We walked up two floors without incident but the acoustics in the stairwell were just perfect and there was this small balcony on the landing and I couldn't help but break into Someone Like You in my most earnest falsetto. He desperately yelled "Stop!" and grabbed me by the hand to drag me the rest of the way upstairs. We finally arrived at his classroom and he gave me the signal that there was to be no goodbye hug and I said in my most cool and casual voice, "See ya..."
I laughed all the way to the car because today...today is the dawn of a new era, an era in which I have the power to embarrass my son with very little effort. For all the times he acted like a maniac in playgroups...for the time he told his teacher about my morning private time in the bathroom...for the time he sniffed a girl's hair at the park and the parents stared at me...for the times he yelled in quiet places and asked me about my tampons in public bathrooms...for every embarrassing thing he has done for the past 10 years - I shall now exact my revenge!
Let the fun begin.