Yoga: An Exploration of Anxiety and Rage

Things I always say I'm going to do:

  • Meditate
  • Exercise
  • Yoga

Things I never do:

  • Mediate
  • Exercise
  • Yoga

Ever the optimist, a friend asked me to join her for a beginning yoga class and I said, "Sure!" Actually, it was more like a surly, barely audible, "sure". Still, I agreed and this morning was the first class. School starts at 9 so I knew it was going to be tight getting to yoga at 9:15 but I was determined (read: too embarrassed to back out)!

Things that make me rageful:

  • Stubborn children
  • Running late

Things I dealt with this morning before yoga:

  •  Stubborn children
  • Running late

It was one of those "getyourbootsongetyourbootsonGETYOURDAMNBOOTSON" kind of mornings and we got out of the house later than I would have liked. Then, we got halfway to school and I realized we had forgotten something so I had to drive back home for that and then drive back to school and by then my jaw was clenched and I was thinking evil thoughts about every single driver of every single car in my vicinity. By the time I arrived at the gym at 9:15, I'm fairly certain I could have turned steel to dust with my bare hands.

My friend and I went to the yoga studio, peeked in and saw that the class had already started. I took this as a sign that we should go out for coffee and scones but my friend did not share my desire to bolt. I noted this character flaw and stored it in my brain for future consideration. Walking into a quiet room full of people makes me anxious. Having to take off my socks makes me anxious. My yoga agitation grew exponentially. Then, it was 55 minutes of yoga during which I am certain that I displayed the balance of a coked out monkey on roller skates. Parts of me wobbled in a most unflattering way. As we did something called "chair", I began to giggle. I'm not an ass in the air as pretend chair kinda gal. I'm an ass in an actual chair with a laptop and blackberry and Diet Coke kinda gal. I will admit that all the wobbling and ass in the airing did distract me from my rage.

Things I liked:

  • Distraction
  • I felt better about eating the banana chocolate chip muffin that I would have eaten anyway

Things I did not like:

  • The stinky man in front of me with the Jack Daniels pants
  • The instructor's repeated use of the word "we" when she should have used "you"
  • My naked feet
  • The lack of a snack bar or open bar or any kind of bar

Despite it all, I lived to salute the sun another day. Theoretically.