Luisa left for Atlanta yesterday to spend time with her secret lover and their 2.5 children. She denies that this other family exists but I know better. Why else would she need to go to Atlanta once a year? Sure, she claims she's an epidemiologist and that the Center for Disease Control is in Atlanta but whatever. I know the truth. I have accepted my lot and that means I'm single parenting this week. I had planned to while away the hours tonight writing a very deep and moving piece for you but I didn't have time because I was too busy saying things like, "PLEASE DO NOT PRETEND THAT YOUR RAVIOLI IS A HOWLER!" and "NO YOU CAN'T HAVE CANDY BEFORE BED!" and "I TOLD YOU TO STOP MAKING YOUR RAVIOLI TALK! IT'S NOT APPROPRIATE EVEN WITH THE BRITISH ACCENT!" and "NO, NOT EVEN A TEENY TINY PIECE OF CANDY!" Plus, I had to do all the dishes and get lunches ready for tomorrow and help the children get ready for bed and then tell them "goodnight" four million and one times. I'm like Cinderella and the kids are like those happy little mice she hangs out with except my mice don't make me party dresses while I'm doing chores.
Anyway, I'm out of time tonight. I didn't want to leave you without any substance, however, so I give you this as an offering:
Are you excited? I know I am. I have plans, my friends...lots of plans!