Developmental Milestones

When your first child comes is born, your world revolves around them and every little thing they do is awe-inspiring. You eagerly await the milestones that every other parent talks about...first smile, sitting, crawling, first tooth, first steps and first word. When your baby finally hits those milestones, you race to the phone to call your friends and family to announce the news. You tell the cashier at the grocery store. You stop old ladies on the street and say, "See this baby? He smiled today." Most people forgive you for insisting that they watch while your baby tries to crawl, even though he gets up on all fours and rocks for 20 minutes before moving forward. They understand...or you provide really good liquor so they don't mind. Either way, it's all good. When your second child is born, it's a little bit different - even for you. Sure, you are excited for the first smile and all that and, of course, you find the child just as brilliant/athletically inclined/talented as the first but those old school milestones aren't quite as important to you. Let's be honest here - there is an entirely different set of milestones that you look forward to the second time around. These are the milestones that no one really talks about so, as is my lot in life, I am here to share the wealth of my experience with you. Behold! I give you the list of milestones that mean most to the parents of two children:

    1. Ability to dress themselves (matching clothes obviously not required)
    2. Ability to put the thumb in the thumb hole of a mitten independently
    3. Ability to puts all fingers in finger slots of gloves quickly without assistance and whining (parental whining, that is)
    4. Ability to put on all winter gear by themselves and then take it all off when they need to go to the bathroom one minute later
    5. Ability to get into the car without help
    6. Ability to buckle and unbuckle a seat belt without parental intervention
    7. Ability to use a kleenex without needing an adult to hold the kleenex and say repeatedly, "Just blow, honey. Like this!" while playing a game of nasal charades
    8. Ability to tie shoes, button buttons, zip zippers
    9. Ability to procure for themselves a healthy snack and glass of water
    10. Ability to get a parent a cup of coffee with cream and sugar and add just the right amounts of each

Both children have finally mastered this list of milestones and life is so much easier. I know that #10 doesn't seem essential but I would totally put that in Zeca's baby book...if she had a baby book. It's so true - second kids really do get the short end of the stick.