Last night, Luisa and I had the television on but were both doing other things. She was playing brick breaker on her Blackberry and I was at the computer working on my plan to reform health care because Obama asked for my ideas when he spoke to me through my TV. Someone might try to tell you that I was goofing around on the internet but you must not listen because that someone is likely just jealous of my public option. The point is that we were sitting in the living room together but doing our own things. At some point in the evening, I looked at Twitter and saw that Ellen Degeneres was going to replace Paula Abdul on American Idol. I have never watched American Idol but I was still able to recognize this as newsworthy so I said to Luisa, "Big pop culture news: Ellen is replacing Paula Abdul on American Idol." She said, "Oh..." and we resumed our individual pursuits. About a half hour later, we turned off the news and were heading to bed when Luisa looked at her Blackberry and said, "It looks like Ellen is replacing Paula Abdul on American Idol." I laughed, stared at her in wonder and the following conversation unfolded...
V (laughing): I just told you that. L (non-chalantly): I didn't hear you. V (incredulous): You weren't listening to me. I also told you that I loved you and you said "hmmm..." L (smiling): Well, I wasn't listening. Now you know how I feel when you tune me out. V (aghast): That's so different! You overwhelm me with details. I was relaying news AND professing my love. L (laughing): It's no different.
The conversation continued once we were in bed.
V (with mock righteous anger): I demand an apology. L (laughing): I won't apologize. If I am doing something else, you need to get my attention before you try to talk to me. V (shocked): What? Am I supposed to say, "Luisa, I need to talk you about something..." and then pause and finish with "I love you"? L: Yes. V (with more mock righteous anger): That's ridiculous. I demand an apology. L (laughing): No. V: Will you at least give me one of those passive aggressive apologies where you say "I'm sorry that you felt hurt"? L (laughing): No, I shouldn't even have to do that. V (resolved): I want an apology and I won't be able to sleep until you are accountable in some way. Plus, you know I've been feeling insecure because I am about to turn 41 and 41 does not seem as cool as 40. L (laughing): Wow. You are really pulling out all the stops. Okay...I am sorry that you felt hurt. V (satisfied): Thank you. Now, you should know that I didn't really tell you that I loved you. It was a test. L (mock outrage): I KNEW IT! Goodnight. V: Goodnight. L: I love you. V: I'm sorry...did you say something?
Clearly one of us was right in this scenario and one of us was Luisa.
p.s. Can we keep this between us? I don't want her to sue me for libel.