Dear Missy Higgins Fans

Today, I was supposed to write about neurons. Believe me, I have a lot to say about neurons and I have a little something in the works but it is going to take awhile longer to put together. Fortunately, a topic came to me via Sitemeter. For those who don't know, sitemeter keeps track of blog visitors and can also tell bloggers how people came to their blog. So, when someone googles "lesbian swimsuit" or "lesbians mating" as they so often do, I can see that they ended up at my blog as a result. The people searching for "hot barbie panties" come here too but I try not to think about those people. Anyway, on Monday, I was perusing the referrals and noticed that someone had come to my blog via The Missy Higgins Fan Forum. I thought that was rather intriguing so I clicked on the link and found that my little ol' post on explicit lyrics, the one in which I briefly mention Missy Higgins, was being discussed there. The fact that someone would be discussing anything I write anywhere at all was weirdly flattering so I decided to read the entire thread. Well, according to the fans over there, I:  

  1. misinterpreted the lyrics to the song "Unbroken"
  2. think abortion is wrong or "risque"
  3. don't talk to my children about difficult issues and probably leave the TV to do it
  4. have bad taste in music


I wanted to post on the forum to clear things up but, despite registering, I cannot reply. Have you ever had one of those dreams where you are walking down the street at night and someone jumps out from behind a bush and grabs you and you try to scream but nothing comes out? Well, this feels like that but the people are jumping out from the bushes and are accusing me of listening to Weird Al and hanging out with Operation Rescue folks. So, I'm going to raise my voice! I stand by my interpretation of the lyrics of the song and submit the following evidence to support my claim:


Exhibit A:


Red hand print on the white of your cheek Pack your bags quiet, while the lion sleeps Watch your mother put her name to the line Next to the place where your father signed


I think we can all agree that somebody just got slapped in the face and is leaving an abusive relationship. Those last two lines, however, made me wonder if this somebody was pregnant and needed parental consent for an abortion. I will grant that this is not conclusive evidence but it's an interesting theory, no? Let us now consider...


Exhibit B:


Hold the answer to the light to see your future Two line, blue line tragedy He brings the medal to the fire for the first time, tells you it's the last time and it will be


Now, this is the crux of my pregnancy argument. I'm wondering if any of the Missy fans have ever taken a pregnancy test? Those suckers are hard to read. You're like..."huh, is that a line? Is it a faint line?" Then, you call in another person and ask, "Do you see a line? Do you see one or two?" and, let's not forget, you're doing all of this gazing while holding onto a stick that you just peed on. I'm telling you - you hold that thing up to the light and every which way to get your answer and that answer definitely helps you see the future...or at least about 9 months into the future. The big reveal in this part though is the "two line, blue line tragedy". Two blue lines typically mean that the pee stick Magic 8 Ball just told you are pregnant. I took the "tragedy" part to mean an unwanted pregnancy.


Could I be wrong? Absolutely. Could I be right? Yep, that too. More than anything, however, I am a tad miffed at being portrayed as anti-choice. C'mon people! I was on the mall in DC in 1989 for the March for Women's Rights. I sang "I Am Woman" with hundreds of thousands of women holding up signs that said "CHOICE" for goodness sake! You can't get much more choicey than that...or lesbian but that's a story for another day. I can pull out all my pro-choice street cred if I need to but I really don't want to talk about abortion. People will get all riled up and then I'll have virtual picketers on both sides shouting at each other and I'll be sitting in the middle saying, "Can't I just blog about Cap'n Crunch and Boob Mallards?" As for my kids, I will talk to them about abortion when I feel it is appropriate. We're still recovering from discussions on racial profiling and capital punishment so a woman's right to choose is just going to have to wait.  The point of including the Missy Higgins song in the "Explicit" post is that it deals with an adult topic and that the issue of censoring music for our children can be complex.


As for Missy Higgins...I have a great deal of respect for her as an artist and I enjoy her music tremendously. I first wrote about her in this post. The thing about judging another person's taste in anything is that it is simply not possible. As I have said here before, de gustibus non est disputandum.


Now...back to our regularly scheduled programming which, much to my dismay, will involve tadpoles and free-range chickens.


P.S. Please don't picket in the comments. I don't want to see any virtual bloody wire hangers or bloody babies. Okay? Okay.