She leaves her advisor’s office and wanders out into the sunlight, squinting as she goes. Her life has been changed and, yet, she does not comprehend it fully. She makes her way to the forum for a cup of bad coffee and begins to contemplate the future. She sits with the fact that she will not be a chemist. She just doesn’t want to work that hard. There will be no medical school for her. Nope. She ponders her options. What will she do with the rest of her life? The next morning, she has made her decision and she walks over to the registrar’s office. She is ready to declare her major and, on the form, she writes (please choose for our heroine):
1)Art History She decides to follow her heart. She becomes an art history major and then goes on to get a Master’s degree in the same. She falls in love with a nice artist and they spend their free time talking about the creation and experience of Art and drinking cheap red wine. She has love and a great career as the head Barista at Starbucks. She spends her days wearing a green apron and making coffee for corporate sell-outs who never see the beauty in the world. Green looks very good on her.
2)Psychology She finishes her undergraduate degree in Psychology and goes on to get a Master’s degree as well. She meets a hot girl and they start shacking up. She works at a string of unsatisfying jobs before a friend says, “You should apply for a social work job at the county”. On a lark, she does and gets the job. It pays well and the benefits are good. She and the lovely girl have a couple of cool kids and have a very happy family life. She must leave them everyday, however, to go to her boring job as a lowly public servant. She comes to understand the phrase “golden handcuffs” and dies at her desk in her cube. Her tomb stone reads, “At least the benefits were good.”
3)Chemistry Fuck her advisor, man. He doesn’t know her. She decides to work hard to spite him and ends up becoming a kick ass chemist. She does all sorts of fancy chemistry things and ends up discovering some super cool compound that is purchased by a cosmetics company and is used in an entire line of hair care products for lesbians. She is happily single but gets a lot of action and the ladies always leave her bed with great hair.
Guess which one I chose? Yeah. At least, I got the hot girl and the cool kids. I've also got some great friends, some blog friends and Boob Mallards, Zombie Canaries and persimmon martinis. Oh...and now I know why no one makes persimmon martinis. Check out this recipe (about midway down the page). Who has the time?