The Bride's Drunk Cousin Will Ride Again

Thank all of you who voted for my blog in the Lezzy Awards. The final vote counts are listed below: 


# Site Conf. Uncon. DQ’d
7 Up Popped a Fox 498 118 0
8 Lesbian Dad 697 189 0
9 Irreverent Mother 346 86 0

Blog of the Year

# Site Conf. Uncon. DQ’d
25 Dorothy Surrenders 1154 349 0
26 Grace the Spot 648 221 0
27 Up Popped a Fox 442 78 0

I wanted to post the results because I am very proud of the showing this little blog made. I've been blogging in relative obscurity for some time now and this was big time exposure for me. So, thanks to all of you who voted! If you were here in my cube with me, I would give you a hug and a kiss. Actually, I probably wouldn't because I'm shy. So, I would offer you my paperclips and I'd give you free envelopes courtesy of my employer. Or...I could buy you all a cup of coffee though I probably couldn't afford 498 cups of coffee. In reality though, there were probably only about 4 of you voting with your 100 different e-mail addresses so I could probably spring for a cuppa joe for each of you.   

You know...if The Lezzies were like the Olympics, I would be getting silver and bronze medals which would be pretty darn exciting! Truth be told, I prefer silver and bronze to those gaudy gold medals. Gold makes me think of Mr. T and those big chains and chest hair. Lots of chest hair. You probably have to have chest hair to wear your gold medal and I don't want any part of that. Plus, as a loser, I don't have to worry about those endorsement deals. I don't want my face on a Kellogg's box and I don't want to walk the straight and narrow path because I wouldn't be able to smoke pot with Michael Phelps anymore and I'd probably have to get a beard. Not the facial hair kind, the "I'm a lesbian pretending to be a straight girl" kind of beard. I don't know a lot of men so I'd probably have to start taking Miguel to my promotional events but that would be weird because, you know, he is 7. People would start thinking there was something fishy going on there and then there would be an investigation and, even though it would be clear that I was innocent, I would end up in prison. Luisa wouldn't be able to visit me in prison because she'd be busy with the kids and all the things that I normally do to keep things running smoothly at home. Things like, sitting on the couch editing movies about Easter candy and writing silly songs about Easter candy and downloading iTunes. She would probably write me letters, though, on little scraps of tear-stained paper and the notes would say, "Why Vikki? Why?" and I would have no answers for her. So...thanks for voting for me and, most importantly, thanks for saving me from prison. 

In all seriousness, I have wondered, at times, why I blog.  I know I like to write but why do I put my life out here for anyone and everyone to read? I don't know...maybe I have a secret exhibitionist inside me. There is one thing I know for sure...I get a big kick out of interacting with all of you. In the end, it is about the connections I've made here. So, let us all join our virtual hands and sing "This Little Light of Mine". You start. No? Yeah, I'm not really into it either. So...would you like a paper clip?