It's 3:41 a.m. I've been up since 2 a.m. when I awoke after hearing a weird fluttering noise in my bedroom and found a bat circling me and Miguel. All I could think was, "Are you fucking kidding me?" Luisa is gone, it's been damn cold, an extra school-related responsibility got added to my list of things to do, the kids have been missing Luisa and acting like little weirdos and now there's a bat flying around me? Really? I half expected to look outside my window and see a plague of locusts. Luisa works for the Minnesota Department of Health and she sometimes handles calls regarding bats and rabies, so, I know the bat protocol very well. If you wake up and find a bat in your home, you should catch the bat (without injuring its brain) because it is possible to be bitten without waking up. So, as the bat did laps in my bedroom, I knew that I had to catch it. I batted at it with the pillow to keep it from landing on the bed and it flew into the space between my dresser and the wall and I ran over and threw a big, bulky sweatshirt over it to impede it. Then, I carried Miguel out of the room, banging him into the wall as I went because I am super competent when I am half-awake and faced with a flying rodent. I then shut my bedroom door.
This is not a tale of heroism. I was actually kinda freaked out and didn't think I could catch it by myself so I called my friend, Raquel. She wasn't really doing anything...you know...just sleeping. Hey, we can all sleep when we are dead, right? Maybe when we are all dead from rabies! Yay! Anyway, she agreed to come over and go on safari with me in my bedroom. She arrived and we went up to my room armed with a pillow case and a rubbermaid container. We approached the Corner of Doom and Raquel found that the bat had attached itself to the side of my laundry basket. She was able to easily put the rubbermaid container over it and trap it while I stood back and watched. In my defense, I really thought it would take off and fly and that it would take two of us to catch it. We managed to get it into the container and put the lid on and it is now suffocating to death in my refrigerator. I'll have to take the damn thing to the U tomorrow to be tested. Now my To Do list looks like this:
- Make lunches (avoid bat in fridge)
- Get kids up and ready for school
- Take Miguel to chorus
- Meet interpreter for client interview
- Take dormant bat to the U to have its brain dissected
- Pick up beer
- Clean house for guests
- Make dinner
- Put kids to bed
- Entertain (Amy and Barb - you are still going to come even though I have bats in my belfry, right?)
I am sitting here at the computer with my winter coat on because we turn the heat way down at night. I don't want to go back to bed and, yet, I should because I have to get up in an hour and a half. It's Theater of the Absurd over here.
ETA: A pic and follow-up...
I took the bat to the diagnostic lab and, apparently, last night was rather batty about town. My bat was the fourth bat of the day. I had put the container in a plastic bag so I wouldn't have to look at the thing and, when I took it out of the bag at the lab, I noticed that it was still breathing. The thing was still alive! I handed the container over to the woman and she asked if I wanted the container back. Um...no, thank you. She said that I would likely have the results of the rabies test tomorrow. Let's hope it's not rabid because, if it is, the kids and I will be heading to the clinic for rabies shots.