Here We Go 'Round the Mulberry Bush

It's that time of year again...the time of year when my crazy gay neighbor vacuums his lawn. Yes, you read that correctly. He vacuums his lawn. He has a mulberry tree that insists on behaving like a mulberry tree by bearing fruit. Then, with gravity being what it is, these berries fall to the ground. One cannot have mulberries just falling onto the ground. One might end up with a stain on the bottom of your shoe or, worse yet, the lawn might start to look untidy. Modern civilization as we know it would crumble. So, he breaks out the shop vac. He will vacuum for about two hours every morning for the next 3 to 5 days until all of the berries have been cleared. I would probably just cut the darn tree down but I am a dyke and he is a gay man.