I got home from work today, went to turn on the laptop and noticed that there was a little white drip on the screen. It hadn't been there when I left this morning and I couldn't figure out what it could be. It looked a little bit like pancake batter or egg but I hadn't made either of those things for breakfast. I figured it had to be milk from Zeca's hands or something, so, what did I do to confirm this hypothesis? I licked my finger, rubbed the drip and then tasted it. It had absolutely no taste. Weird. Then, as I was walking into the kitchen to get a damp cloth, I heard fluttering and turned around to see a bird sitting on a window sill inside the dining room. With horror, it hit me...that drip on the computer? Bird poop. I had just eaten bird poop! While thoughts of my impending death from avian flu swirled in my head, I still had to figure out a way to get the damn bird out of the house. I looked around for a large container and my only options were a bucket or a cowboy hat. I opted for the bucket because it somehow seemed more dignified and, given that I had just eaten bird shit, I figured I didn't need anyone walking up to find me skulking about the house waving a cowboy hat around in the air. Every time I walked towards the bird, though, it flew to the other room. So, I abandoned my bucket and decided to try to usher it out through an open window. I opened all of the windows in the dining room and living room and then followed the bird from room to room until it finally found one of the open windows and flew away. Please excuse me while I go gargle with Listerine.