Take Heed

I want you to learn from my mistakes, so, I am offering a list of things that you should not do:

  • Do not swear in front of your children. If you can't help yourself, be prepared to hear your 3 year old say to her sibling, "God, I hate these damn chairs."
  • Do not go to meetings with an agenda item that reads, "Making Change Work For Us". This meeting will be completely depressing and will involve management telling you how much harder your job is going to get but urging you to see the gifts that change has to offer. Furthermore, there will be no donuts and there will be mandatory participation in group stretching exercises.
  • Do not become hysterical when the internet connection in your home fails. You can survive without the internet while you eat lunch. It is not easy but it is possible. Plus, there are people that can help you get back online (hello Luisa!).
  • Do not panic when your iPod won't turn off...and then won't turn back on...and won't charge...and remains dark and blank. You do not need to drive to Best Buy right that minute to buy a new one. First, you must admit your addiction and acknowledge that it is possible to drive around the city without listening to music. Secondly, and most importantly, iPods can be reset and returned to full function (hello Luisa!).
  • Do not expect good weather in Minnesota in March. Do not be fooled by a sunny, 40 degree day. There will be much snow and dreariness to follow.

And last but not least...

  • Do not drink two beers, eat a lot of raw cupcake batter and then go to bed. If you do, you should know that you will be awake for several hours during the night and that time will not be spent reading a good book but will be spent trying not to vomit. Also, this will limit your capacity to cope with the challenges outlined above.