How Did I End Up Here?

Last fall, I went to New York with my mother and my sister. This trip was a really big deal for my mother for all sorts of reasons, so, we let her wishes dictate our agenda. One of the things she really wanted to do was to go on the Sopranos Tour. I tried to get out of it but there was just no way and that is how I found myself sitting on a giant tour bus with a bunch of middle-aged to elderly Sopranos fans preparing to tour sites related to a show I had never even seen. This was a FOUR HOUR TOUR. That's right, four whole hours driving around New York and New Jersey seeing shooting locations and answering trivia questions. I was actually able to answer one of the questions when the tour guide began, "What actor played an editor..." and I blurted out Nancy Marchand. I remember pop culture references and even commercial jingles from the 1970's but I can't seem to remember to take my children's snow pants to school each day or to deposit checks that people give me. The tour went on way to long if you ask me and, since this is my blog, I am going to pretend that you did. The only four hour tour I would consider would be the Cagney and Lacey Tour or, hell, even the Fraggle Rock Tour. I should mention that I had not eaten prior to our departure and, for those who don't know me, I like to eat...often. So, as the tour wound down, I was getting quite hungry and my goodwill was starting to erode. Thank god we stopped for cannoli before heading to our last stop, The Bada Bing. The bus was buzzing about the Bada Bing and I was like, "Whatever! Are there any leftover cannoli?!" There weren't, in case you were wondering. I briefly considered snatching my mother's cannolo right out of her hand (she's diabetic anyway) but had a few sips of water and was able to restrain myself. My greatest hope was that this Bada Bing place would have french fries or even potato chips. It was with this hope that I stepped off of the bus and entered the Bada Bing which is an actual club called Satin Dolls. In case you are ever in New Jersey and you are very hungry, let me save you some trouble - Satin Dolls does not serve fries. They do, however, serve up women pole dancers. I stood there at the bar's edge, next to my 72 year old mother, and watched two young women slithering up and down poles to really bad music that was vaguely familiar yet unrecognizable. Where was my sister? She was trying to get us a couple of beers. Strangely, no one seemed to want to serve a woman. It was at that very moment that I had to ask myself, "How in the world did I end up here? What fates aligned and led me to this seedy bar in New Jersey where I am watching, with my mother, scantily clad women dance suggestively on a raised platform surrounded by a bar?" The scene did cure my hunger. Well, that an entire tin of Altoids. The question "How did I get here?" is one I often ponder existentially and, occasionally, I ponder it more concretely as I did that day at Satin Dolls. I want to hear from you now...where have you found yourself and asked the same question?