Lesbians Attack Iowa - News at 11

Happy CampersWhen, we arrived at the campground and began setting up our tents, Miguel and his good friend Luca headed off to the playground by themselves. After about 15 minutes, I meandered over to check on them and saw Miguel, Luca and another girl in a rather heated discussion. I asked what was going on and Miguel and Luca began to list their grievances against the unknown girl. Apparently, in the brief time they had been at the playground, they had discussed gender stereotypes,  lesbianism and the existence of God. Don't children play tag anymore? I'm not sure how it all came about but the girl had said that women cannot have short hair, that it is not possible to have two mothers and that you must believe in God. I suggested that they skip the politics and just have some fun but Miguel and Luca left the playground in protest. When you say Budweiser...The playground incident was my first clue that we were a bit different than most of the campers. Other clues followed...the enormous RV's with air conditioners and televisions, the women with big hair and the overwhelming vibe of heterosexuality. We did try our best to fit in with the locals as you can see from the picture of Susan and me. I mean...we were willing to drink a Budweiser to fully experience this alternate universe. In the end, however, we had to be ourselves and poured out the Bud and switched to Portuguese wine and Summit Scandia. The other campers seemed to notice our difference as well. One man warned a female friend to avoid walking past our tents at night without her husband because there was no way to know what we might do. Apparently, bears and lesbians are common dangers while camping. The truth is that I just don't attack and drag random women into my tent as often as I used to - it's hell getting old.

 Char BabyDespite some staring by the locals and Zeca's unwillingness to go to sleep, we had a fabulous time. There were lightning bugs to catch, sand castles to build, water for swimming, roasted marshmallows and the company of good friends. It was a good time and, if you ask Zeca, nothing says fun like rubbing a charred stick all over your face.