We returned to Minneapolis from Kansas City on Monday after spending the weekend with my mother. This is always stressful because:
- She is a control freak
- She no longer seems to like people
- Her house is like a mausoleum
- She is the Queen of Guilt
We spent the weekend waiting on her and attending to her every whim. Luisa cooked for her. We did all of the dishes. We took her on errands. Luisa helped her with some bills and tightened her glasses. I vacuumed the upstairs, cleaned the downstairs tub and toilet. We did everything possible to be helpful. After our departure, she said, "It will take me 6 months to get the house back the way it was before they came". She also had comments about the kids' and their energy and probably had many things to say about the way we discipline our children but, at least, she appears to be keeping that to herself. I spent Tuesday crying because I am just never perfect enough for her. My kids are never perfect enough for her. The bottom line is that nothing is ever enough for her.
Remember NaBloPoMo? Well, I am taking on a new challenge for the next 39 days: NaFoMoMo or National Forsake your Mother Month. That's right - I am giving up my mother for Lent. It doesn't matter that I am not Catholic or religious. Nope. This is an act of self-preservation.
During NaFoMoMo, contact by phone with my mother will be allowed but here are the ground rules:
- I will not allow her to make me feel guilty about anything.
- I will not allow her to cause problems in my relationships.
- I will be as honest with her as possible.
- I will speak up for myself and my family when she says hurtful things.
Maybe I can get my sister to join in too...