10 Signs You're Getting Old

 Photo Credit: Vikki Reich

Photo Credit: Vikki Reich

Aging sneaks up on you. I was thrilled when I turned 30 because I felt like I had finally arrived at true adulthood. People no longer dismissed me with the wave of a hand and a casual, "You're in your 20s. What do you know?" I was even excited to hit my 40s because I felt like I had figured out who I was and what I wanted. But now, as I slide towards 50, I'm feeling my age in ways that aren't quite as empowering. It took me awhile to notice and I want to serve as a guide for the rest of you, so, I present to you the 10 sneaky signs that you may be getting old.

1. You need a selfie stick - not to take pictures, but to be able to get a product far enough from your face that you can read the directions on the package.

2.  You pick places to go based on the levels of ambient noise because you can't hear what anyone is saying when it's loud and you actually want to hear what they are saying.

3. You shave your legs like you are reading Braille. 

4. You appreciate good lighting at a friend's house or in your car or in a hotel room - not because it's flattering, but because it reveals the rogue hair you didn't see at home.

5. You begin to enjoy after dinner mints and by "after dinner mints," I mean Tums.

6. You start conversations with friends with the words, "Did I tell you..." and know you're keeping good company when they respond, "I don't remember..."

7. You think to yourself, "All those drinking games in college paid off because now I can swallow a whole handful of pills in one gulp!"

8. When people ask you for a physical description, you start everything with "I used to..." I used to have blue eyes. I used to be 5'8". I used to wear an 8. I used to have brown hair.

9. You hear that someone in their 70s died and you gasp, "Oh my god! Struck down in their prime!"

10. You don't put a real #10 on your list of 10 things because you do what you want. Fight me.