Miguel started school this week but Zeca doesn't start until next Tuesday, so, we've had a lot of time together. On Wednesday, we spent the afternoon shopping for school clothes which was actually fun except for one teeny, tiny, incident in the dressing room at Old Navy. As she was trying on clothes, she said, "Oh my god, mom! What's on your face?" I knew exactly what she was talking about because I had noticed a red bump on my face when I woke up that morning. I think I've mentioned once or twice before that I am incredibly vain so waking up with that bump on my face had already caused some anxiety for me, anxiety that I had been able to control only through sheer will.
The strange bump was not the typical gift of middle-aged hormones which meant that I immediately assumed that I had been bitten by a spider that had then laid eggs in my face. Obviously, I was emotionally scarred by some weird video I saw on Facebook one time. That morning, standing in front of the mirror examining the bump, I had courageously beaten back the idea of the spider eggs in face situation and was feeling confident that the bump would eventually go away without me having to call a pest control company.
So, it was with practiced nonchalance that I said, "Yeah, I have a little bump."
Zeca: Well, it's not exactly "little."
Me: It's not really that noticeable and I'm sure it will go away soon.
Zeca: Is is a giant pimple?
She then leaned in close to my face and ran her hand over the bump lightly.
Zeca: Actually, I think it's a bite. Maybe a spider.
Me: That sweater looks really cute on you!
Zeca: You can die from spider bites. What if you die?
She did not say this in a tone that suggested that she was worried about me but in a tone that suggested fascination at the thought.
Me: Even if it's a spider bite, I'm not going to die. Most spiders in Minnesota aren't poisonous. It doesn't even hurt!
Zeca: It probably doesn't hurt because your face has gone numb. If it's numb, your face will probably rot off.
I had no idea that spider eggs under my skin was actually the best case scenario while becoming a faceless zombie was the worst. So, I would like to thank my daughter for providing such comfort to me during this difficult time.