I am in one of those moods when I just want to write random things and then I do and then people read the random things and think, "HA HA HA! What is wrong with her?!" but I never know that's what people are thinking because I don't have ESP which stands for extrasensory perception and is not one of the Myers-Briggs personality types. So, because I can't really hear your judging me, I am going to write whatever crazy thought pops into my head and have a grand ol' time while I do.
Speaking of ol', I really hate shops that use "ye", "olde" or "shoppe" in their names. Unless you are a blacksmith, don't do that. I don't want to get candy from "Ye Olde Candy Shoppe" because I assume it sells those weird old timey ribbon candies that my grandmother used to buy at Christmas. Related but not really, if I walk into "Ye Olde Candle Shoppe", there better be a butcher, a baker and a candlestick maker in there.
Actually, there shouldn't be a butcher and a baker because I don't want to buy food where they make candles so never mind about that one.
Speaking of candles, I used to really like candles until my cat walked by one and caught his tail on fire. He's dead now - not from the tail burning incident but because of other things like aging and meanness. Momo the Cat (pictured) has never had to deal with a candle burning her tail because our candle use declined after the tail incident and then we had kids and worried they would catch on fire. So, now, we don't use candles at all. I do miss candles sometimes. They always made the house seem cozy. We also used to like to burn incense because we were co-op shopping lesbians with a fondness for Guatemalan prints. That's not really true - I had only one Guatemalan print shirt and that was from my first girlfriend and, by the time Luisa and I were burning incense, I didn't wear it anymore. I'm breaking down stereotypes here! We eventually stopped burning incense because we came to our incenses. Sorry, I couldn't resist.
Speaking of Momo the Cat, Miguel drove her insane this morning singing his own version of Lady Gaga's "Applause" with the refrain, "We live for the appaws, appaws, appaws*..." Momo was not a fan but I thought it was funny and now I want an all feline remake of the original video:
Speaking of nothing in particular, I went for a pap smear today and my doctor asked if I would allow a medical student to do it. After having two babies, I'm not particular about who does my paps so I said, "Sure."
So, the medical student warmed up the speculum and started doing the deed and then she turned to my doctor and said, "Is that it?" I said, "I'm going to stop you right there. Never say, 'Is that it?' That does not instill confidence. People want to know that you know your way around down there." She laughed and said, "I guess I need to work on my wording." We all had a good laugh which made me happy because I have one goal when I see a doctor - make them laugh. It's a challenge but I usually win and it is very important to win doctor's appointments.
That's all for today. Thankfully. Tune in tomorrow for coherent thoughts. Hopefully. Maybe.
*Note: my computer keeps correcting "appaws" to "papaws" because it must feel olde timey as well.
PHOTO CREDIT: VIKKI REICH