Last night, our family settled onto the couch to watch A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving as we do every year. It's a tradition that I keep thinking the kids will outgrow, though I haven't outgrown it yet.
We all got some movie candy and sat down and watched everyone walk all over Charlie Brown and then watched Snoopy make a terrible Thanksgiving dinner. We laughed and pointed out things that made no sense and enjoyed ourselves thoroughly.
There were some things I noticed in this viewing that were cause for concern and I thought I'd share them all with you so that you too could worry about the health and well-being of the Peanuts gang.
1. Linus has pronounced bumps on his head. No other character has these so I am worried that someone jumped him in the pumpkin patch when he was waiting for the Great Pumpkin and now his brain is swelling and no one is taking him to the neurologist to have this checked out!
2. Peppermint Patty really shouldn't be wearing sandals in late November. We know it snows wherever they live (Exhibit A: A Charlie Brown Christmas) so it must also be cold at Thanksgiving. I worry she'll get frost bite and both feet will have to be amputated which will impact her chances of getting a softball scholarship to some all girls college.
3. We never once see a parent - not while Snoopy and the gang are making all that toast and popcorn, not when they are removing everything from the garage, not even when all the guests show up. It also seems that the parents should have spoken with grandma about being late, not Charlie Brown. Charlie Brown wasn't late all on his own! He needed a ride, yo.
4. Woodstock eats turkey. Woodstock is a bird. A bird eats another bird. So, I'm concerned that Woodstock might be an albino crow or the world's most adorable vulture. Is there a Duty to Warn in regard to bird on bird violence?
5. I'm thinking Snoopy is a hoarder and has a clutter house. He's got a table and chairs in there and a table saw and a fully cooked turkey (which may have been left out and could be carrying a foodborne illness) and costumes and a million other things. Who will intervene? Who will save Snoopy from himself?
6. Woodstock puts Snoopy's ear in the toaster and burns it and then puts butter on it. This is an inappropriate approach to treating a burn. I worry that Snoopy's ear will be permanently disfigured which will make him much less attractive to the Peanuts gang and also affect his modeling/merchandising career.
7. Lastly, the children pile into the back of the station wagon without seat belts which I know was the practice in the 1970's. However, we never see who's driving the car. It could be the Grim Reaper or Lucy - neither of which should be responsible for a group of children.
So, maybe today, we should all just be thankful that we are not Peanuts characters because our chances of survival without some type of disfiguring injury seem much lower!
Give thanks that you will get to keep your ears and both your feet!
Happy Thanksgiving to all and buckle your seat belts and don't sleep with a table saw near your head and don't be a cannibal!
PHOTO CREDIT: WIKIPEDIA