I am here to inform you that you have won the A-Camp Recap Lottery! Instead of millions of dollars, however, you will receive two A-Camp recap posts. You can't buy a boat with recap posts but who needs a boat when you can have words! I know you are thinking, "But Vikki...I can't water ski behind your words..." and to you I say, "You have pretty hair."
So, congratulations! Here is your first recap.
I have a recurring nightmare in which I am driving up a mountain and the turns are very tight and there are no guard rails and I miss one of the turns and drive off a cliff. I bring this up because the road up the mountain to A-Camp is just like that. Obviously, I did not plummet to my death which should teach my recurring nightmare a lesson.
And now that I have that fascinating anecdote out of the way, I will turn my attention to the pressing questions that must be answered...
1) "Was there ice for your cocktails?"
There was ice around but it was not plentiful. I relied on the kindness of strangers to provide for me (Hello Alice! Hello Random Woman in Eagle Lodge with Two Bags of Ice!). When left to my own dev-ices (Get it? "Ices"? Yeah, I'm still tired.), I made drinks without ice. I learned a valuable lesson: I will never ever be desperate enough for a social lubricant to drink a warm cocktail.
2) "What did you do about shoes?"
I did buy a pair of hiking shoes. I didn't love them but, in the end, I was happy I brought them because the other pair of shoes I took got wrecked and stinky and I ended up throwing them away. Without my ugly hiking shoes, I would have gone through LAX barefoot and my feet would have probably fallen off. No one laughed at my shoes...at least not in my presence.
3) "How did your hike go?"
On Thursday night, I had a bit of bourbon with my cabin mates and then hung out at a campfire and then went to a party in Wolf Lodge and had some drinks and then I went to Deer Lodge and did some dirty dancing and then I went back to Wolf Lodge and had deep meaningful conversations and maybe danced on the stripper pole a little bit and then went to bed around 3 a.m. Unfortunately, I was scheduled to lead a hike the following morning. Sometimes you gotta pay to play so, the next morning, I got up and showered and dressed in my snazzy hiking shoes and showed up to do my duty. But then...a light shone upon the dining hall and an angel appeared and offered to lead the hike for me and I married her on the spot in a glorious lesbian wedding attended by all of A-Camp and officiated by a coyote. Okay, I didn't marry her but did have a passionate love affair with her kindness.
4) "Did you need the information from the eHow article on how to fend off a mountain lion?"
No, I did not. Nor did I need the information from some weird snake page with a name like Rattlesnakes 'R Us about treating a snake bite in the wild. I saw a chipmunk, a million lizards (give or take four) and many wild queer women, some of whom were mating.
5) "What was your favorite part of A-Camp?"
Before going, I assumed that participating in the Queer Families panel would be the highlight of my time there. While I enjoyed the panel and the discussion, it turns out that my favorite thing about A-Camp was being a camp counselor. I was assigned as co-counselor for the Avengers' cabin and the campers were simply the best. It was my job to make them feel comfortable and welcome but, really, that's what they did for me. They let me eat every meal with them and they hung out with me all the time and I seriously loved every minute of our time together. They also kept me from eating a bad burrito when I was immune to its rotting aroma due to hunger. So thank you Avengers! For everything...not just the burrito thing.
This concludes your first A-Camp recap you lucky little devils! The next one will deal with feeeeeelings and reflection so prepare.