I went to the YWCA today and exercised and that is a sign that the apocalypse is nigh. Actually, that's probably not true but I really enjoy saying "The apocalypse is nigh!" Why should the Mayans and the right wing fundamentalists get all the fun? Also, nigh is a word that needs to make a comeback so let's make that happen. (Please use the word nigh in every comment you leave to show your commitment to this effort). So, I got up and put on workout clothes and found my lock and put everything in a little bag and went to the gym. I was slightly concerned about my appearance because of my 1)impressive bed head (think punk rock rooster) and 2)my tattered pink tie dyed sweatshirt. I ditched my sweatshirt as soon as I got there but the bed head was there to stay. My only hope was that everyone would be so distracted by the sight of my muffin top that they wouldn't notice my whacked hair.
I went up to the track and put on some Nicki Minaj and started making the rounds. A few minutes later, I saw a woman jogging while carrying her big black purse and I felt much better about my bedhead. I actually laughed out loud but then pretended to choke so that, if I called attention to myself, people would feel sympathetic about the choking and then not notice my bedhead. Of course, a few other people joined the motley crew and life was good. There was the woman running in jeans with a sunglass case attached to her belt. Lots of old ladies in slacks and sweaters. I looked damn good which made me realize that I am FINE and just need to keep weirder company so that I look good by comparison.
When I finished and got back to the locker room, it was packed with naked old ladies - like a dam had been holding all the naked old ladies back and the dam burst and there were naked old ladies everywhere! I'd never seen anything like it. The sight made me feel pretty good about my boobs.
So, the moral of the story is that working out really does make you feel better about yourself.
I took this picture after taming the bedhead. Note: I am a clothed old lady.