Is it too much to demand I want a full house and a rock and roll band
Pens that won't run out of ink
And cool quiet and time to think
- from "Passionate Kisses" by Lucinda Williams
I want a meaningful career. I want financial security. I want to be a good mother. I want to have a strong relationship with my partner. I want to write and tell stories that make people feel something. I want to be surrounded by the love of friends and family, to laugh loudly in good company, releasing the kind of laughter that fights its way up from the deepest part of the soul.
So, I work and I reach out and I love and I write and I cry and I sing and I think and I laugh loudly. But there are moments when it all seems to be too much and I become still. This is not a peaceful stillness but one born of an overwhelming sense that maybe, just maybe, I want too much.
Can we really have it all? I honestly don't know but I can't be the only one wondering. I look around and I see so many of us trying so hard in the pursuit of everything. We are moving so fast.
Most of us are simply looking for happiness in the myriad ways that it can be defined.
I have to remember that want and need are easily confused as I often remind my kids. So, sometimes, I need to focus less on what I want and more on what I need. I want much but I need very little.
I need to breathe and look at all that I have.
I need to be patient.
I need cool quiet and time to think.