When I was pregnant with Miguel, I craved Taco Bell every single day. I had evolved into a food snob since my Taco Bell eating high school days and food snobs do not eat at Taco Bell. And yet, I would sit in my cubicle every day thinking about Taco Bell. When the cravings first began, I gave into them. "What could it hurt?" I asked myself. "If you indulge, the craving will go away!" I told myself. It did not. It only got worse. As my craving grew, so did my feelings of embarrassment and I began hiding my trips to Taco Bell. I ate lunch alone and I never told anyone where I went. Then, one day, I sat down with my burrito supreme, slathering it with those horrible little sauce packets, and I realized that it was the horrible sauce that satisfied the craving. The solution came to me in a flash! I would steal Taco Bell sauce packets! And I did...every time I passed the Taco Bell in the skyway downtown. I would dash in and stuff my pockets full of packets then go to El Burrito, an establishment that I could frequent without shame, and order a burrito. I would then go back to my desk, open up the burrito and fill it with Taco Bell sauce, close it up quickly and throw the packets away. I didn't have to be embarrassed anymore! Needless to say, my secret life made for a shame-filled 9 months. It all came back to me today when I read that Taco Bell is being sued because it's "beef " is actually:
"...made of such components as water, isolated oat product, wheat oats, soy lecithin, maltodextrin, anti-dusting agent, autolyzed yeast extract, modified corn starch and sodium phosphate, as well as some beef and seasonings."
The only thing that surprises me about this is that it is surprising to other people. Who eats at Taco Bell and thinks the food is real? It turns out that the "beef" is only 35% solid and only 15% protein. Internally, Taco Bell refers to the "beef" as "taco meat filling". And what did that remind me of? Better Off Ted, of course. So, I rushed off to youtube and found this clip from the show just for you.
When I think about all the Taco Bell sauce I consumed while pregnant with Miguel, I'm sure his "blood" is probably 35% Taco Bell sauce. This explains a lot.