‘Tis the season when we all open our hearts and give to others. Sure, we could do that all year around but then it wouldn’t be special. Right? Last night, Luisa and I were talking about Christmas gifts:
Luisa: You haven’t given me any gift ideas. Vikki: I’ve given you many. I dropped hints all year long and, if you had been paying attention, you wouldn’t be having trouble finding a gift for me right now. Luisa: What hints? You haven’t given me any hints. Vikki: I’ve given you many hints. MANY HINTS. Luisa: Like what? Vikki: I’m not going to tell you because you should have been paying closer attention and I don’t want to reward inattention. Plus, if I tell you now, you’ll just go get them and that defeats the purpose of the hints. I want to be surprised. Luisa: Tell me and I promise I won’t get any of them for you. Vikki: Fine. I told you I wanted a cocktail monkey necklace. Luisa: You never told me that. Vikki: I did. Luisa: Well, maybe you told me and I dismissed it because who wants a cocktail monkey necklace?! That’s not even a real thing. Vikki: It is real. It’s a sterling silver cocktail monkey on a chain and it’s $65. Luisa (laughing maniacally): $65? For a cocktail monkey on a chain? Vikki: Are you mocking me? Luisa: Yes. Vikki: Mocking my gift idea seems like a tactical error on your part. Luisa: You don’t even wear necklaces. Vikki: Well, I was going to start wearing necklaces! I’m getting older. I need to accessorize. Luisa: You would never wear it. Vikki: I would wear it. Luisa: You wouldn’t. You would put it in your night stand and that would be it. Vikki: You are killing my dream. This is a sad day. Luisa: Uh huh. See. You are hard to buy for.
For the record, I am not hard to buy for and she is just bitter because I returned a belt and a pair of gloves she got me. That’s all I’ve returned in 17 years! SEVENTEEN YEARS. Ignore any comment she might make about a wallet because I kept the wallet. It is in my bag right now. So there.
Now, where was I? Oh yes…‘tis the season when we all open our hearts and give to others.