I have to tell you something, something that is very hard for me to admit. I often say that my life is an open book, that I don't have secrets, and that is true. Mostly. This thing that I need to talk about, however, is one of those things that could change the way you think of me forever. That is scary but, as with most things in life, living a lie is even scarier. So, here goes: I watch Grey's Anatomy.
I have watched Grey's Anatomy for a long time, even before they had a lesbian storyline that I could use to justify my viewing. At this point, I watch for three reasons: Sandra Oh (Christina Yang), Sara Ramirez (Callie Torres) and Jessica Capshaw (Arizona Robbins). For those of you don't watch the show (and I don't judge), Callie and Arizona are the token lesbian couple on a show full of hetero-romping and they are cute and hilarious and, well, have you seen them? So, I am rather invested in them and then, last night, this happened:
I was a tiny bit upset. I may have gasped and yelled, "NO!" I can't recall exactly but I do remember that things in my own little lesbian household went awry because Luisa and I took sides. She took the wrong side and I took Callie's side. I identify with Callie because I would give up everything for love. Call me a hopeless romantic or call me a crazy, impractical person who blogs while wearing her winter coat inside her house. Wait - that has nothing to do with anything. The point is that I would go with Luisa to Africa even if I didn't want to and I would make it work but Luisa wouldn't want me to go because she wouldn't want me to sacrifice my happiness for hers and so clearly she doesn't want me to go to Africa with her and I can't believe she doesn't want me to go to Africa with her and what does that say about our love and my world doesn't make sense anymore because our life is a sham and OH MY GOD we are arguing about a fictional situation and fictional people and neither of us is going to Africa and Jessica Capshaw isn't even going to Africa because she's just on maternity leave!
There aren't that many lesbian storylines on television and we are desperate for better representation. So, when a couple like Callie and Arizona come along, we want them to stay together forever. It's not surprising then that their break-up makes people sad and angry and leads people to complain that lesbians never get good storylines. As much as I hate their break-up, I have to admit that this is a good storyline because it is realistic. We have to stop thinking of "good representation" as getting a guaranteed happy ending and start thinking of "good representation" as realistic. If we can put ourselves in the characters' places like Luisa and I did last night, I'd say the writers are doing something right even if it feels very wrong. Now, that doesn't mean I don't hope those crazy kids work it out. I do and I hope that ABC will give us some make up sex to go with the reconciliation. A girl can dream...