I hardly slept last night because my dreams were filled with images of peeps and Lady Gaga and then, at one point, I ended up going to some sort of weird summer camp for PhD students writing their dissertations. Then, I talked on the phone with my sister who invited me to go to a movie and I was like, “That would be awesome but I’m in seclusion to finish writing my dissertation.” She asked what it was about and I was like, “Good question. I don’t know. I’ve only written four pages.” I was weirdly relaxed about the whole thing, though, which is really nice because my writing dreams typically end with me having to write a 50 page comparison between Green Eggs and Ham and the Bible but I don’t have a Bible and the Bible store is all sold out. Yeah, discuss amongst yourselves. I’m back at work after being gone for 11 days and nobody seems to notice. I’m okay with that. I mean, I don’t need a parade or anything because I’d like to forget that I’m back too. Maybe I’m a ghost and the turkey sandwich I’m eating is simply levitating in my cube, slowly disappearing. If I scream, will anyone hear me? Surely, this is one of the great philosophical questions of our time. We’ll never know the answer, however, because I will not be screaming. Even Ghost Vikki is a little self-conscious. Here’s another thing – Ghost Vikki needs cookies.
My To Do list now consists of:
1. Get cookies
2. Find an institution of higher learning to give me an honorary doctorate in Peepology
I'm fairly confident that I can accomplish one of these things today.