I know you are all wondering what time I awoke from my slumber this morn, so, I am going to tell you - 5:15 a.m. I am also certain that you would like to know why I woke up at such an early hour. I will give you a hint - it was not because I like to see the sunrise on weekdays before going to my thankless job in cubicle land. Guesses? Alright, I'm sure the suspense is killing you so I will tell you. I woke up at 5:15 a.m. because my crazy gay neighbor started watering his lawn at that time. My lovely dreams were interrupted by the squeak - squeak - squeak of his rusty faucet and then the tsss - tsss - tsss of the sprinkler under my window.  I put a pillow over my head and tried to go back to sleep but could not because seething tends to interfere with peaceful repose. I do not like my first feeling of the day to be irrational anger. It sets a bad vibe for the day. "You're overreacting!" - you say. You are probably right but this has gone on for so long and has been mixed with so many other lawn care related annoyances that it is all just a bit much to bear. "What annoyances?" - you ask (wow...am I in tune with your thoughts today or what?). Well, there is the offense of the sprinkler against my siding in the wee hours...the annual vaccuuming of the mulberries...the times he has come over and weeded our yard...the times he has watered our foyer because our windows were open...and the times he runs the sprinkler so that it covers our front door and we have to run through it to get to the house. I feel better now that I got that off my chest.

There is something else that I had to get off my chest - vampires. No, I don't have vampires on my chest. That would be frightening and might also interfere with my breathing because they are pretty heavy. I'm talking about my inability to understand the fascination with vampires in literature, films and television.  I wrote a post about it on Grace the Spot. Check it out:

Foxy the Vampire Hater: one lesbian who doesn't get the vampire thing

Go on over there and yell at me in the comments! I can take anything...well, anything but sprinklers at dawn.