She beckons to me from the pages of Martha Stewart Living. She smiles while holding a beautiful centerpiece and our eyes meet. I hear her whispering to me, she says, "Vikki, you can do this!" I am mesmerized by her decorative eye, her creativity and, quite possibly, her matching sweater set. I smile back at her and I begin to believe. I believe in Martha and her world of endless possibility. I become convinced that I too can make a beautiful fleur-de-lis coffee cake and that I can make empty toilet paper rolls into stunning party favors. These projects do not turn out exactly as promised but I am undaunted. Martha is there to comfort me and encourage me and I vow to try harder. Martha nods approvingly and purrs in my ear, "Yes, Vikki...yes!" She speaks to me, her co-conspirator, and tells me that I can and must make her Spiderweb Eggs. I do not doubt her and do not doubt that I can succeed with her guidance. Spiderweb eggs - so simple and so perfectly delicious. I review the recipe numerous times and buy all ingredients to Martha's exact specifications. The night before the party, I set out to recreate the eggs pictured at left. I follow the recipe without deviation. With each step, I grow more certain of my success and know that this time my creation will also be worthy of a magazine. I smile confidently and place the eggs in the refrigerator to cool. I go to bed and sleep the sleep of the Creatively Righteous. The next morning, I return to my eggs and begin to peel one with the same zeal as a child opening a birthday present. The shell is difficult to peel and, when removed, takes large pieces of the egg with it. I hear Martha's reassuring voice telling me that I am hurried. One musn't be hurried. I set the first egg aside and proceed more cautiously. Egg after egg, I am faced with reality. My tray of eggs looks nothing like Martha's. I fall silent and listen but the siren song of Martha Stewart is gone and all that remains is dirty dishes, disappointment and two dozen eggs that look like goopy eyeballs.