Enlightenment

On January 1, 2002, I made a New Year's resolution: I resolved to find a way to relax and find peace. I've made the same damn resolution every year since then which means that I have been resolving to find peace for over 5 years now. I know...you envy my success and may want to know exactly how I have managed to change absolutely nothing in 5 years. Well, my friends, it is not easy. It involves a lot of lying on the couch eating bon bons while fretting.

The past year has not been an easy one. My stepfather died last summer. I've lost count of the number of times my mother has been hospitalized. My children continue to act like children instead of miniature adults put on earth to do my bidding. This summer, I have found myself more frustrated and more anxious than usual and I have started to think that maybe, just maybe, I might not be coping with stress in the best possible way. It turns out that ignoring the stress and emotions doesn't make them go away. I'm sure you are as shocked as I am. Anyway, it has become clear to me that I might need to find a way to relax and find peace which sounds eerily familiar.

I was looking for some books on meditation for children and ran across a book called Buddhism for Mothers: A calm approach to caring for yourself and your children. My first reaction was to mock. I can't help myself - I am a very skilled mocker. I looked at the table of contents and saw topics like, "Finding Calm", "Dealing with Anger" and "Worrying About Our Children". I read some excerpts of the book and found that I had lost my desire to mock. I realized that the book just might have something to offer me since the Couch and Bon Bon Method of Life Change hadn't really worked out as I had expected. So, I bought the book. I haven't read it all yet but the parts that I have read have made a lot of sense. Who knows...maybe I'll become a Buddhist - I already have the body of Buddha so I have a head start.